somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
