Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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