I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
