i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my shit smells like andre
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
