Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
