The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
