I need help removing her.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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