she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
