We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
