You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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