i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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