the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
