I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
