Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
