I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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