He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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