if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
