I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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