Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I enjoy the company of your penis
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
