i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
