Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
