what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize