At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
