its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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