Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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