Already got asked if we're dating
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
