ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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