Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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