put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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