I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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