i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
