i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize