haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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