GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
