I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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