when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
