I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
