its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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