real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
