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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  This bar receipt from last night makes no sense

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I wish that would've worked

  Fav 24 3720 1028

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would

  Fav 11 3128 1147

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.

  Fav 31 2301 7416

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them

  Fav 22 1585 3357

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• (845): View more from New York

  i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.

  Fav 12 1272 3642

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.

  Fav 6 2648 921

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.

  Fav 4 823 1838

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.

  Fav 1 1371 692

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• (254): View more from Texas

  The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy

  Fav 1 635 1086

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.

  Fav 11 963 648

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...

  Fav 3 824 547

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.

  Fav 1 967 619

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Omg the world wants us to be better people

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I refuse

  Fav 0 614 300

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.

  Fav 0 45 14

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