I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
