is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
