covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
