is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
bring money and cleavage
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
