i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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