She said her name was "party"
I can text with my tongue
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
