Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
