I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
