Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize