I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
