3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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