So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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