if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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